I remember when I used to sit down once or twice a week at my laptop to pour out my karate experiences, my life experiences. This used to be during breaks at work, where I had my massage office to myself. No children. No husband. Just me and the words. It became this really important thing for me, a place where I could share my martial arts thoughts with other martial artists who wouldn't look at me with this "okay, I don't know if she's crazy or not but I'm just going to smile and nod" kind of stare.
Then it all changed when I moved three years ago (has it really been that much time already??), selling a business I worked very hard at building, uprooting my family, starting over. I desperately tried to stay with my Koro Ken training, which involved going to my local Y with another woman who had moved up here and had trained in Koro Ken as well. We even got another woman to join us. Periodically one of the Sensei in that style would come up to kick our butts. I never had the time to make the two hour trip to the home dojo and lamented the fact that it probably would never happen. I even tried some other styles...but nothing felt like home.
A year after moving I became pregnant with our second son and martial arts training grinded to a halt. As did my exercising. Three months of constant nausea doesn't exactly get one pumped to go work out for an hour. Then baby was born, I recuperated for six weeks and decided to start running. Always in the back of my mind was karate. I had this nagging, empty feeling where karate used to be and it made me sad. I felt a little lost.
My last few posts talked about getting into policing, which is still an ongoing adventure. Never have I put so much time and energy into a career than I have with this one. Nothing has turned up for me yet, but I'm still going for it. Thing is, the hiring process takes FOREVER, but I'm willing to put into the time. It will eventually happen for me. For the time being I'm back to massaging and it feels pretty good. I'm not working for myself, but that's okay. With a career change looming the last thing I want to do is get a following of private clients.
But there's this problem. I still haven't filled the karate hole. My life has consumed every minute of my day, which will happen when you have two young children and a husband. I work mostly during the late afternoons, which doesn't leave much time for taking a class, and most dojo around here don't have any classes in the middle of the day. I also work on Saturdays, another class day. There's got to be some way I can get back into martial arts. It's becoming a little unbearable. I don't mean to sound melodramatic, but when you put eleven years into something and then have it suddenly gone from your life...well, if you train you know what I mean.
I've been filling that hole with some punching bag time and my three to four times a week workouts, which consist of running and doing some type of CrossFit-like exercise. It makes me feel great...but I need my martial arts fix. It doesn't have to be karate. I just need to find those two times a week when I can go to a class, start small and go from there. I'm thinking that will happen soon. I just finished going through a hiring process with a local PD and was not chosen (although I was in the top five). One position, forty seven applicants. A little competition. I told myself that if I didn't get hired I would go in search of a new martial art. Well, now it's time to do just that.