And how do I reclaim it? The past week has been filled with chest cold loveliness and it's put a damper on my training, just when I was ready to get back into it all. This was not a surprise to me, with the move and the big changes, it's just damn inconvenient. Usually it's business as usual when I get sick, but not this time. However, it has lent me some time to just be here and not become obsessive about getting back into the swing of things.
I miss my dojo terribly. Miss the camaraderie, the trust, the routine. Put me on my own and I flail a bit until I get a new routine. This has been my goal in the past three weeks, but instead of giving myself time to stretch I've been impatient to find a new path in all of this. A spark arrived last week when I found out that the local YMCA was looking for a karate instructor. Fate? Coincidence? I'm not sure. All I know is, I'm not permitted to instruct in my style yet, but can be a second.
This leads us to Sensei Brian Moe (pronounced "moy"), one of the senior instructors of Koro Ken. He has said that he was willing to come to Burlington to train me and another student who lives here once a week. If he becomes the instructor at the Y, then I become his second and teach when he's not there. I'm not sure if all of this will work since he will not really get paid and can't charge a fee, which isn't very realistic. We shall see what happens.
Back to finding the rhythm of training. I have a place to train inside, have childcare, and have someone to train with (and also instruct at the same time since she's a green belt and will be testing soon.) There is also Wing Chun once a week, which will become a nice addition to my style. Then there's the conditioning that I want to do. Where does all this fit in when you have suddenly become a stay-at-home mommy? There lies the rub...
Again this brings me back to patience. I have very little of it and need to begin the practice of being here now instead of five minutes ago or five minutes ahead (or sometimes years ahead; to allow myself the space to breathe instead of doing it NOW. I used to meditate every day to keep my brain from running away on me and that all stopped once I had a child. However, meditating with a munchkin whacking you with a ruler he found on a shelf could be a great way to find inner peace.