Monday, July 7, 2008

It's going to happen

We actually have a place to move in to. I never thought it was really going to happen. See, I'm pretty good with denial and although I'm excited to go to a much bigger town (small city, actually) I'm secretly scared out of my pants. The apartment, however, is more than we could have hoped for. It happened on a whim, really.

This weekend was meant for relaxing, seeing friends, swimming in pools, dripping with sweat because it was so darn hot. However, the fates decided to throw in a visit to a place directly across the street from a dear friend. Not only is our new landlord down-to-earth, but she's an artist, a really good artist. Located in Winooski, which is a stone's throw from downtown Burlington, the house was built on two lots, which means the yard is to die for. We have the entire downstairs, which consists of a HUGE kitchen (yay for me, I love to cook!), three bedrooms, a cute bathroom (tiled and everything) and a basement for storage. There are all sorts of creatures thrown about the yard and gardens, which were created by the landlord. She lives upstairs, but leaves for the winter. It's perfect, really, so why do I have this hollow feeling in my stomach? Did I actually think this was really going to take place?

I thought that I did. I also thought that I was okay with it.

The scary parts: moving away from my family, leaving my massage business (which will be sold for some amount to another massage therapist), leaving my dojo.

Leaving my dojo.

That makes me a little crazy on the inside. Although, one of the senior instructors has informed me and another woman (who has also recently moved into Burlington) that he will come to us to train us. He's very, very good, up there with Sensei Bottomms. It would be an honor to have him. Plus I have this great yard, which is surrounded by these stately hedges, to train in. It's like this secret dojo....

So what happens in the winter?

I've written about finding another dojo and I really don't want to. Wah, I don't want to (picture me stomping my feet)! That's purely BS, I will look for one and will most likely start with Kung Fu. Sensei Morallo has mentioned that, unfortunately, the guy who teaches at this particular school is better at acupuncture, but to give him a go anyway because it really is all about learning. I'm finding that as a shodan that's the most important thing. Okay, that's a whole other post, so stay tuned.

There's also this grand plan to travel with my friend to Rutland to train at the mother ship, perhaps twice a week. However, this woman is single and has no children. Maybe in fairy land this could potentially happen. The Trick is for me to find childcare since hubby will now be taking over all the earning in our family.


This brings us 'round to me not actually believing that moving away from my ten year stint in the town I was raised was actually going to take place. It's a comfort thing. This realization does not lessen the high level of anxiety that I am now feeling. No kidding, kiddos, my anxiety is in the General Anxiety Disorder category. I'm not that crazy, just a little. When the stress gets up there I have a hard time functioning. All I have to do is get back onto my regular training schedule and everything will fall back into place.

See, I've been sick all week and have been unable to train as much as usual. This makes me cranky. Who wouldn't be cranky! Place on top of that cranky cake a few sparkly candles and you might get an explosion. I will be okay, I will be okay, this is a positive move....the more mantras the better.

Alright, now that I've vomited that forth I feel much better. The move is going to happen and I will be happy once it is all over. What happens next is the adventure of a lifetime.


Cyber Psalmist said...

You should be proud of yourself for accepting the new changes in your life. One day you will look back and be glad for this decision. Press on!

Bob Patterson said...

Hang in there and don't fret too much!

Most things we worry about are not worth worrying about!

Sounds like you just need to get back to a routine. This too, shall pass!



Blackbeltmama said...

It sounds like a great house and across the street from a friend? That can't be beat!

somaserious said...

CP: I am proud of myself. Thanks for the validation. Change is never bad...
BP: Hanging is what I'm doing. I know this too shall pass, but venting is my process. Thank you so much for the kind words!
BBM: Yeah, baby! She's a great friend, too. We're talking about flashlight Morse code communication and everything!

Martial Arts Mom said...

Congrats on the new digs! I can relate to that sick to your stomach feeling though. You'll be fine. Practice some pranic breathing or something along those lines. Works every time for nervous nelly here - I mean me. :)

Michele said...

"the adventure of a lifetime"

What a great outlook. Good for you!

Miss Suzy said...

Do it!

Did you say Winooksi?! Winooski's a cool city. I'd move there in two seconds.

Good for you.
Don't be anxious. Breathe.