Friday, April 3, 2009

Life in Second Trimester

Ah, second trimester. The floating time. No more nausea, no more bad taste in my mouth. And the realization that I'll never, ever go through first trimester ever, ever, ever again! Yes, two is enough. No more kids, no more being pregnant after this.

Also, a return to formal training. I've come to this realization that my path has come to a fork in the road. One way leads back to my first dojo, where I grew more than I ever thought possible. The other leads to a different dojo, where the growth could continue, but in a different way.

A fellow karateka and I were talking about this yesterday as we walked on the bike path. It was the first real exercise in a week for me (there's been a lot of sickness of the cold variety in our lives this winter. Yay preschool!) and it felt fantastic. It was warm, the sun was shining. There was this sense of possibility. We spoke about how we both had been struggling to find our way so far from our dojo. For me there was no reality to driving two hours south even once a week to train. For her it was becoming too much of a burden (she's been going to the Rutland dojo at least twice a week for over a year).

Then there was the issue of one of our sensei, Sensei Moe, visiting our town once a week. It was okay when the weather was agreeable. Then winter hit and he was no longer readily available to come and train with us. Of course our schedules always seemed to clash as well, and it was becoming this incredible pain in the tush.

We both realized it was time to chose a different martial arts path. Our current paths were creating tension and frustration. When I moved here I so desperately wanted to find another training avenue, but was not completely committed to become a permanent member since I was so faithful to my dojo. By choosing another dojo and committing myself to it's martial way seemed too much like being unfaithful to a long-standing relationship. However, I was also limiting myself.

It's like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders, if I may be so cliche. Just because I will choose to become a committed member of another dojo once I'm ready to return to intensive training does not mean I have to let go of what I've learned. It does not mean I am no longer a member of my original dojo. If my life is such that I am not able to travel to that dojo, then I must find an easier way to continue my training. I'll still go to my original family for visits and parties. I am not forgetting where I started. It's just time to move on so that my martial way continues.


saddlefitter said...

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller - long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth."

Frost was so Zen. Good for you, Karrie - don't let your loyalty to our dojo hold you back. We'll always be here. Find your new path.

Blackbeltmama said...

Ah, the second trimester and karate training. It's a wonderful thing, right up until you realize you're carrying this baby much lower and you're getting much bigger and then suddenly, you can no longer kick without kneeing your baby in the head. ;-) Enjoy your new path.

Sarah said...

I know how hard it is to leave a dojo. It sucks. As a military kid I had to move (and change dojos) four times before I was able to find a permanent (I hope!) place to stay.
Is there not a dojo nearer your home that does the same style?
If not, do you have some idea which direction you might head, or are you just thinking - I just need a martial art!
Anyway, good luck, and keep up your ties with your old dojo - you can always visit!

somaserious said...

Hi, Sarah, thanks for visiting! There's a dojo that's similar to the one I used to go to regularly. It's the only one I've found in my area that sticks to traditional Japanese/Okinawan training. I've tried some of the other ones and they just aren't for me. I visit my old dojo as much as I can, and it's always a great time.

SF: I'm not leaving the dojo for good. I'll be there whenever I can. It's too special to me.

BBM: Thanks! It should be very interesting indeed.