Stalling

Okay, I've really been stalling about writing an entry. However, I haven't been able to make the time until now, holidays and all. They were good, but I'm glad they are over. Anyway, there is so much in my brain right now having to do with training and where I want to be in it all. One thing is about what to do when your sensei has the blues...I'm not sure what is going on, but he has seemed a little off lately, but we all get that way and I'm not judging him in the least. He's the most balanced man I know, at least most of the time. However, it can affect training. I know that when I'm feeling off and not so great my training takes a nose dive and I find it incredibly hard to concentrate. This isn't new, I think I'm just noticing it more these days. I know that he's about to go for Go Dan in a few weeks, where he will be involved in a community exhibition. No rough stuff. It sounds like the higher you go, the more you receive the upper dan for what you provide to the community, and he has done so much in that area. Great man.
Great teacher. Period.

I mentioned writing about tolerance and balance and that post is still working it's way to the front of my brain. I've been faced a lot lately with having to be tolerant and having to balance my life. An example is the choice I've made to put off testing for Ni Dan, which was planned for this September, in order to have another baby. Originally when my husband and I talked about it I wanted to wait for the shiai, but after mulling it over realized that it was a little too selfish of me. Plus I want our children to be no more than four years apart. This was a big decision for me since I've put so much into my training. However, it has taken time away from my family and I need to change that because family is first. My husband mentioned that he wishes I were as passionate about him as I am about karate. Hmmm...interesting. It's been so difficult to find that balance since karate is always on my mind; how to train more, how to make this self-defense technique work without muscling it, how to bring hara to the forefront of my training. It's always there. Often before I go to sleep I go over kata or self-defense techniques in my head. When I give a massage I go over kata, which isn't necessarily the right time but, hey, sometimes my mind wanders. I also practice stance work and hara work while I give a massage. So much has changed in my martial arts training over the past year and it has excited me beyond anything that I've ever experienced. It's so important to me. When I do become pregnant I plan on training until my body is so big that I'm ready to pop. The last time I stopped training early in the pregnancy and ended up taking two years off. That will not happen this time. Karate is different for me now, it means so much more to me than it did four years ago. Plus I want to experience what it's like training very pregnant. Of course no kumite or throws, but there's so much more to do. I won't be bored.

Well, guess that turned out to be a post about balance. There's so much more to it, though, and I most likely spend more energy thinking about it than is necessary. All I know is karate makes my life complete and without it I would be very sad indeed. It's molded me into this person I always wanted to be: compassionate, humble, excited, happy, strong in both body and mind.

Here's a little promote three meme: go right now and check out kuanti mama . She's a rad chick. There aren't many posts, but there's definite possibility. I've found similar themes to my posts, which made this blog appealing. Someone to relate to, another female warrior.