Wednesday, January 16, 2008
I had such a difficult time teaching yesterday, but Sensei was standing behind me the whole time, which made me nervous! I'm not sure why since he's been there plenty of time before. We had four new men in class, one of which had a lot of experience in martial arts (but I got the impression he had been out of it for a while). It just didn't feel good teaching. There was a great feeling of insecurity, which I have had before but have been able to work through it. Not so yesterday. It left me feeling slightly bruised in the ego, which isn't a bad thing to have happen. Not that I have an immense ego it's just good every once in a while to have it bruised. There's much to learn from that. Luckily Sensei is a very perceptive man and didn't make me suffer for long, though he could have. But then we proceeded to have a "mini Shugyo" so to speak and he ran us into the ground. Or rather kicked us into the ground. We did kicking up and down the floor for what seemed hours, days. We did push-ups over and over (I had to ice my elbows last night. Not good!). It was GREAT! When in the moment like that it's so intense, but it's wonderful because it forces you to focus. Good for the soul, good for the karate-ka. However, the newbies didn't participate in all that we did, but got to see what was in store for them if they chose to be in it for the long haul.