Fear

I'm afraid to unleash that inner "stuff" (for lack of a better word) in self-defense situations. I mean the practice version, not the real thing. There's this definite fear of letting go in order to let it go, if you know what I mean. That's where the hesitation comes from. I just figured this out today. That's all we did in class, along with slow-flow, and at some point I unfocused my eyes and the moves went so much smoother. It's that fear that prevents me from attacking to my fullest extent. Maybe I'm afraid that if I let it go I won't be able to control the movements and will hurt someone. That results in hesitation as well. This is something to work on and work through, at least now I know where it comes from.